Everyone Is Trying to Make You Happy in Their Life

I am tricky. My despair skyrockets every few hours. I am receiving homeopathy and it helps. The doctor was really sweet. After hearing my story, he told me to come whenever I need — just to sit and drink tea.
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The medicine was amazing. My attention shifted to joyous experiences. Now that it’s finished the horror is back in my mental imagery. But I am too tired to meditate. Even though my Lama helps me through mental telepathy. It is beautiful. He meditates with me. I learn so much. It should be worth it to me to stop dozing and sit up whenever he’s present.

I used to sit and stare at what my mind was doing. It was as if I was threatening my mind with a dangerous sword 🗡️. I used to not lay awake for long. I would leap into sitting and meet the mean ideations before me. It was better than sleep with horror percolating inside. I didn’t use to be able to sleep.

Recently I’ve been able to sleep cozily again. My bed in Mohin’s hotel is cozy. So is the room, albeit not for me. My Taoist inner alchemy teacher said, you can’t meditate your way out of your problem. You need to sleep.
I’m tired of meditation!